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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Learning how to talk to, meet, or get to know guys after Step 9

Its all practice really, but here's some things which might help you build up your confidence and social skills..

Flirting and Walking Tours. Fridays. Leicester Square and Walking Tours. Fridays. Leicester Square

Street cupid. In case you see a dish at the bus stop!

Speed dating. Married men and all that, but at least it teaches you how to break the ice and start speaking to people you do not know. Book places on the guest list in the light bar for afterwards.

Internet dating site.

The light bar. Free. Book guest list before 3pm. If you are going to go to bars, you may as well go to the nicer ones.

The Long Bar. Free. Bit of a queue. Posers and such, but good practice

The Buzz Bar. Cheap early evening dance-fest. 2 quid or something, and it closes at pub times. Full on dance fest. Not much in the way of talent, but its a great place to learn how to swing your pants sober.

The Loop off Oxford Street. A skanky disco type place. You have to pay to get in. But there's a lot of people that pass through here, so its a good place to 'practice'. Theres bound to be someone you like the look of here. Mind you they may very well have alcoholic tendencies. Its a bit of a pick up joint I think. Not sure exactly. But whats good is that is is very ordinary and unpretentious, and not full of losers.

The Kingly Club. Free! They let you in on the door if you look alright, as far as I know. Cool Members bar. Some posey types. But no bad behavior, or obnoxious men. They get thrown out pretty sharpish.

Milk and honey. 150 quid a year membership. Bad for meeting people. Good for a quiet (non alcoholic) drink with a bloke. Staff are a bit groveling and drinks are pointlessly overpriced, but its much better than a skanky bar.

Worlds Best Bars. Check this out to see if there are other cool places to go. There are some good places near old street which are cool but not central. No fee to get in.

Comedy Clubs
Good for being sociable with guys and getting to know them better in a group rather than on your own which can be a bit more intimidating. If you make a point of going to one every week with a comedy buddy girlfriend, its no big deal to mention it to a guy who looks nice and tell him he can come along too if he likes.
Buy time out and go to the ones which get a star rating. Often very cheap 4 quid or something.

Café Rouge
Good place to meet people you know very little about. There's no pressure to have anything to eat, so you can leave if you don't like them, and if you do, then its an alright place to stay longer.

Cinema is not good unless you go in a group or you have already decided you like them. Its lousy for getting to know people.

Tate Modern on a Friday and Saturday night is a great place to hang out with someone you would like to get to know better. Much nicer than a skanky bar full of people getting pissed.

Also you should really be doing stuff that appeals to you anyway. Friday night skates or what have you. Or Sunday afternoon lectures at amaravati. You're FAR more likely to meet a similar minded person when you attend things that interest you. Doesn't mean that you will like them or anything, but its good practice.

Also Do not get intimate with your personal trainer, yoga class teacher or kick boxing teacher, as the entire class will have done the exact same thing beforehand. A sort of yoga class/ kick boxing conveyor belt of willing sexual conquests!! Never mind eh!

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