About Me

My photo
I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Helping Newcomers: If you manage to get this skill right, it's like hitting the jackpot in AA terms

Being kind to difficult people isn't easy! For me it only really works if I'm willing to go to ANY LENGTHS to help them. Half measures pretty much avails me NOTHING.
I often want to give up on new Sponsees. Its a VERY demanding skill. But the best way to learn is trial and error. I've never found it easy. I do it for the benefits to myself. Not because its easy or pleasant. Like most things in life, THE MORE YOU PUT IN, THE MORE YOU GET OUT.
Its the TOP AA suggestion for wellbeing, so its well worth persevering, even though its difficult.
If you manage to get this skill right, it's like hitting the jackpot in AA terms. Why? Because the big book tells us..

Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. p97
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
On talking to a man there, I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet. p15
Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE work with other alcoholics. p89
For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead. p14
OUR VERY LIVES, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. p20

Having said that I always tell Sponsees to pick the EASIEST newcomer to begin with. As there is a VAST range of mental and emotional deterioration in AA. The easiest are the most willing, not necessarily the least 'damaged'.

Being a doormat is pretty lousy even in GOOD conditions, but when it comes to being a sponsor, well that's just voluntary sufferance of the worst order! I think I learned assertiveness from talking to new people. i don't tolerate any rubbish at all now. but not in a Nazi way! if you know what i mean...

I was told (by old timers in my home group) to practice step 12 (in the form of phoning newcomers every day) as soon as i started my program. I didn't wait till I had done steps 1 till 9 before doing 12. its the most stabilizing thing I know..


Anonymous said...

So much pressure is released from self when I am not constantly thinking of myself. It is a demanding job, thinking about me myself and I.

"If you ever catch yourself sitting alone in a room thinking about yourself GET THE HELL OUT of the room! And if you find someone that will sit there and talk with you about it BOTH OF YOULEAVE!"

He was speaking on how an intellectual concept cannot change the feeling of self-worthlessness.

Hahah, I am listening to Bill C right now and he just said this. I am laughing out. How funny is that. Of course writing it takes some humour out of it. On my iPOD and I a recovery playlist so am able to get juiced up and out of my head when I am at work or whenever I need it. I am so grateful that technology can allow me to get plugged in at any hour of the day -- working and listening to the message.

Then I come to my blogging peeps and get more recovery juice when I cannot make a meeting.

Happy Wednesday!

Meg Moran said...

The concept of "giving it away in order to keep it" sounded like mumbo-jumbo to me in the beginning! Now it is such a simple truth. Talking with a anyone (sober or not) who wants to know about recovery gets me fired up.

Carly said...

Reading your words helps me. Thank you!