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I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire. My ambition is to accept everything unflinchingly, with compassion, and therefore be intrinsically comfortable in my own skin, no matter what. I am comfortable being uncomfortable and am willing to go to any lengths to improve my life. I believe the Big Book was divinely inspired, and is extraordinarily powerful. Unfortunately AA's best kept secret a lot of the time. (In my opinion). I just try to do what works, no matter what it is.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Help is the Sunny side of Control: Are you helping or are you being a Control Freak?

I find people can 'smell a rat' at 100 paces. Meaning they can tell if I'm being a control freak yet trying to sound 'helpful'. Similarly, I can be VERY direct with people but at the same time have ABSOLUTELY no 'controlling interest', and when I do that, people seem very happy and untroubled about what I say. They can just 'sense' that it is my view, and I have no delusions that I believe I can 'make' them do anything. So basically what I'm saying is that I think it all comes down to MOTIVE, as opposed to WHAT you say exactly.

NOT being a control freak is EXTREMELY liberating as it enables MUCH freer expression of ideas. You can be much more guiltless in what you say. It doesn't work ALL the time, but then what does? but most of the time seems to go fine really.

The HARDEST people to help are those closest to you. Thankfully I understand when to not patronize people who know more than me by accidentally suggesting something. Its a very embarrassing social faux pas, to accidentally suggest stuff to people who know better. Very embarrassing! Thankfully they are always very polite and never react when I get it wrong. I wish I was like that. Oh well, you cant have ! Everything.

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