Recovery Archive

For my Sponsees. Ongoing posts to explain my personal interpretation, and preferred method, of recovering from Alcoholism, using the Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous as a template. Based on 20yrs sober life experience. I just add bits when I remember something. NOBODY, including myself, speaks for AA as a whole. Take what you like and leave the rest. Live and Let Live. The Principles of Unity and Tolerance of other people's views and opinions are FAR more important than ANY personality in AA

Sunday, June 17, 2007

A 'Softer' style of recovery in Al Anon

I think Al Anon offers a completely different 'flavor' of recovery. A 'softer' version. and I mean that in a GOOD way. soft as in the opposite of a 'hard heart'. I needed to get to AA to survive. but now my survival is no longer the issue, I can enjoy what al anon offers. when I get round to going! Meaning I'm not very good at showing up!
They are the complete opposite of control freaks. its very refreshing! Well the ones I met were..

To be honest, I don't know enough about al anon to be able to identify what it is I like about it. Its like when you admire a great work of art but you have no real understanding of WHY you like the painting. You just do. There is something very good about al anon, but I have no idea what it is exactly! I'd have to go to more to understand it better!

For me, I see AA as basic training. Survival kit. Al anon is for TRYING to 'smooth off the edges' after the survival aspect is done with. AA is like boot camp. Al anon is a place to learn how to drop the 'survival' act, and learn to yield to life more. It's 'soft' or something. Very female compared to the 'blokey' atmosphere in AA.
I reckon they both have their place. AA is like Yang energy, and al anon is like Yin energy.

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The Six Things. To do every day.

1. Check in with a sponsor (ideally,) or another long time sober person. Or a very cool ‘Spiritual Friend’.
2. Phone a newcomer. Give it away to keep it. THIS IS YOUR MOST POWERFUL DEFENCE AGAINST DRINKING.
3. Hit your knees. Ask YOUR concept of ‘a power greater than yourself’ (It can be the power of AA as a whole, or the power that makes the earth turn) for a sober day, and say thanks at night. It HAS to be a LOVING concept of a HP. (see Trad 2.) If it is even a little bit judgmental, it’s no good. Ask for help with whatever roadblocks you are experiencing at present,
4. Gratitude list. Work against your natural tendency to take things for granted. Is the glass half empty or half full? Write down 6 things that make you laugh, smile or feel glad to be alive.
5. TRY to do one of the things on the just for today card. Think of it as a portable programme. Carry it with you throughout the day. If you become negative, try applying any one of the instructions on the card to your situation.
6. Read a page of the big book or Go to a meeting. Look out for newcomers and long time sober members. Try to be of service in some form or other while at the meeting. If you want to share, sit at the front, and share first. Start with saying I enjoyed your share and I identified with you.

Happy Big Book Quotes

If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p100
We are SURE God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. p133
We aren't a glum lot. p132
We ABSOLUTELY INSIST on enjoying life. p132
There is, however, a VAST amount of FUN about it all. p16
The joy of living we REALLY have, even under pressure and difficulty. p15
We think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. p132
If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. p132
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
On talking to a man there, I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet. p15
We, (who have RECOVERED from serious drinking,) are MIRACLES of MENTAL HEALTH. p133
There are those, too, who suffer from GRAVE emotional and mental disorders, but MANY of them DO recover IF they have the capacity to be HONEST. p58
It is a design for living that WORKS in ROUGH going. p15
There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. p15
Our troubles, we think, are basically of our OWN making. p62
It is CLEAR that WE made our own misery. p133
Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery. p133
We CANNOT subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears,
We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,
Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment
The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. p152
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than ANYTHING we could have planned. p100
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could. p43
Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p100
There exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is INDESCRIBABLY WONDERFUL. p17
We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. p25
If you persist, REMARKABLE things will happen. p100
You WILL find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination WILL be fired. p151
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. p16

Protection: 'Giving it away to keep it' Slogans

Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. p97
Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as INTENSIVE work with other alcoholics. p89
OUR VERY LIVES, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. p20
DO THE RIGHT THINGS AND THE RIGHT THINGS WILL HAPPEN
For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could NOT survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead. p14
Keep on the firing line of life with these MOTIVES and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed. p102
Your MOTIVE is your PROTECTION
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of MAXIMUM helpfulness to others. p102 The good is the enemy of the best. Tradition 2
When ALL other measure failed, work with another alcoholic WOULD save the day. p15
I would be AMAZINGLY lifted up and set on my feet.It is a design for living that works in rough going. p15

Self Will - Arrogance Slogans

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Surrender to Win
(On holding back) The more you put in, the more you get out
COMPLETELY give yourself to THIS simple programme
Reliance not defiance
I'm not getting into the lifeboat until I know WHY this ship is sinking!
Bludgeoned into Humility by pain and unremitting suffering
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
If you're spinning your wheels, try getting out of the driver's seat
Change is not painful. It is RESISTANCE to change that is painful
Your Higher Power makes your life uncomfortable when its time for you to change
THERE ARE NO DAYS OFF!
It's alcohol-ism, not -wasm.
Great suffering and great love are A.A.'s disciplinarians; we need no others. Some of us have taken VERY hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job, wife or no wife, we simply do NOT stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people (places and things) ahead of dependence on God
If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to KEEP getting what you’re getting
If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
On Arrogance: You don't know what you don't know
Take the plank out of your own eye before you take the splinter out of someone elses
You can't bullshit a bullshitter
Let go or be dragged
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result
What makes you think it's going to be different THIS time?
Its better to be in AA pretending to be an alcoholic, than to be 'out there', pretending you're not
Isolation is the dark room where we develop our 'negatives'.
Relapse begins long before you pick up the drink/drug.
SLIP: Sobriety loses it's priority.
EVERY time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with US
Pain is necessary, suffering is optional!
If you hang around a barbershop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut.

Metaphysics - Manifestation - Cosmic Ordering Slogans

Thoughts Become Things...choose the good ones!
You move towards, and become like, that which you think about, whether it is good for you, or bad for you
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thought. With our thoughts, we make our world." ~The Buddha
The more you think about the problem, the bigger the problem gets. The more you think about the solution, the bigger the solution gets.
We don't see things as they are, we see them as WE are
What you 'see' is what you 'get'
I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become
What would it look like WITHOUT the problem?
What do you want?
Stick with the winners: Have they got what you want? Do they look as though they are enjoying their sobriety? What are they like in the traffic? Are they comfortable in their own skin?
Fake it to make it
Act as if
On negative self talk. If a friend spoke to you, the way YOU, spoke to you, would you hang around with them?
Live in the solution

My Favorite Old Timer's Sayings

The ONLY thing you give up is your MISERY
Pray for the Bastard!
THE NEWCOMER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM
(in reference to statements from the Big Book) -Doesn't say, 'except for Mary, or John, or David'.
COMPLETELY give themselves to THIS simple program.
Just do what makes you feel COMFORTABLE
We are SURE God wants us to be happy, joyous and free.
EVERY time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with US
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our CONSTANT thought of others and how we may help meet their needs
Wise people learn from their own mistakes. Smart people learn from other people’s
The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind, don’t matter
Wear life like a loose garment, not like a hair shirt!
It’s a cinch an inch, but it’s hard by the yard
What would be the LOVING thing to do?
Stick with the winners
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God WILL, (not might) keep you unharmed
(On choosing Sponsors) Have they got what you want?
Do they look as though they are enjoying their sobriety?
What are they like in the traffic?
Are they comfortable in their own skin?
The good is the enemy of the best
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of MAXIMUM helpfulness to others
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Its better to be in AA pretending to be an alcoholic, than to be 'out there', pretending you're not
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
(on talking in meetings) In a 'GENERAL' way. Not a blow by blow account!
Just do your lousy best

TOP Slogans

Love is an action. Doing the next right thing even if it is terrifying. Feelings and thoughts change constantly and bear little or no resemblance to reality
Practical experience shows that NOTHING will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. p89 Big Book
Get off the cross, we need the wood
Let go or be dragged
The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter
Its better to be in AA pretending to be an alcoholic, than to be 'out there', pretending you're not
A bad workman blames his tools
Talk is cheap. Actions speak MUCH louder than words
Take the plank out of your own eye, before you take the splinter out of someone else's
Feeling without action is sentimentality Action without feeling is an empty gesture
A powerful body comes from exercising. A powerful mind comes from keeping it still.
If you want to hide something from an alcoholic, put it in the Big Book
You snooze you lose
THE NEWCOMER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM
Are you hoping that one day everything will be fine and you'll enjoy everything? You can enjoy everything, nothing is too small or large to enjoy. You should learn to enjoy, in all aspects of your life. Tell me one thing in the day you look forward to?
Things are never as bad or as good as you think!
You MOVE TOWARDS, and BECOME LIKE, THAT WHICH YOU THINK ABOUT, whether it is good for you, or bad for you
Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love~ Rumi
Tough times don't last, but tough people do